I'm Back

I am offically back to Crossfit. I did my first workout on Monday. I did:

200m row

15 db cleans

15 ball slams

After 1rst round I dropped to 10 of each. 20 min cutoff and sadly I didn't even finish 4 rounds. I spent more time walking to the bathroom wishing I could puke.

Wednesday I psyched myself out of going and felt crappy all day. Thursday I tried the same stunt, but convinced myself to go. The workout was very similar.

600-500-400m row

10-15-21 ball slams

10-10-10 db presses 30lbs

This time as I started the workout I told myself over and over "YOU WILL FINISH THIS WORKOUT"

I struggled, I won't lie, but I finished the workout as prescribed. It was a rest day workout and I am sure the weight was less than other people would use, but it was the same for everyone in my group. I finished. 14:20

It is a very small victory, but at this point in the game I will take what I can get. Then I spent 15min wishing I could get sick.

Addicted

I thought I would never find anything as addictive as Crossfit. I was wrong. This weekend I finally broke down and signed up for a Facebook account. Damn. I spent about 4 hours on the damned thing on Sunday. I went 33 years without it and then Sunday night I couldn't go 10min. Even worse, it is hooked up to my phone so it goes with me everywhere. What the hell was I thinking. The last thing I needed right now is something that will take even more time away from my schedule. Anyway, as far as Crossfit, I started my one on ones again last week and plan on going to my first class this afternoon. It will be a VERY long road back. I was embarrassed by how bad I did, and felt, but I will not stop. I have also had a hard time getting back to diet. That may be an even longer road.

Sleep Walking

Bizkit, the Sleepwalking Dog @ Yahoo! Video

I start back to Crossfit tomorrow and a feel a little like this dog. I am ready to take off running, but I am not exactly sure where I am going. We will see tomorrow how I feel after a day back. We will start slow (probably for a while) till I wake up again.

Scared

So I got cleared from the doctor. I will start (slowly) back at Crossfit Omaha next week. Yes! Joe wants me to do a couple of one on ones to get started back in. I agree with him. I feel like I am starting all over again. I feel like I let myself down. I gained most of my weight back and haven't been doing much physically. I have those butterflies in my stomach (not that it is bad to have them) and I am curious how the new back will handle it. The major difference between my first time in Crossfit and this next week is that last time I didn't know what I was getting into. I know how much work, sweat, pain, and soreness is coming. I know that the mental part is just as hard as the physical. I know that there are very supportive people there and that my worst critic will be myself. I am as excited as hell, but I am also scared to death!

Need More Planning

Things have been going relatively well the last two days. I had been doing well with the Zone until tonight. We had a breakdown (already) and went out to eat. I attribute this one to poor planning. I knew this would happen. I just didn't think it would be this soon. We will try to pick it back up in the morning hopefully, but it is a weekend and that is where we are most vulnerable.
I haven't started working out yet. We planned on going to a gym so I could find a bike, but that fell through. I suppose it is just as well because the diet has been a major adjustment.
For Christmas I got the kids (see picture if you think that is true) Guitar Hero World Tour. It has been a hoot with the adults and will be part of a future party I am sure.

Starting Over

I took my first step yesterday to begin again reaching my weight loss and fitness goals. I started the Zone Diet. As I write this I have finished 2 full days (which is a record). Mary and I tried it once before, but we didn't make it past the first day. Also as I write this I am smelling pizza that my workplace provided for a safety reward. I can tell you that I have a long road ahead.

Yesterday I suffered. Anytime I cut out caffeine and sugary carbs (two things I have had quite frequently in the last month and a half) I get severe headaches. I get a hangover just like any other drug. Usually it is a good enough reason to avoid those two things, but once I start I feel cravings ALL THE TIME. I think I am over that now so we will see how the Zone really works. I have read that the first few days are a cleansing so I hope I am good now.

This time around I am going full into Crossfit. Since I can't do Crossfit yet I am going to work on diet first. That way I don't get too much too soon. Like I said before Mary and I have tried this before, but not whole heartily. This time we have bought in and will see how it works. It definitely takes a lot more planning and work so I expect to see better results. I am also curious to see how it will work with Crossfit. I am one of those types that reserves judgement until I have tried. That is what I am doing now.

This picture is one of my recent favorites. These are the Gill men. Pictured with me are my brothers (Rob and John) my son (Matthew) and my nephew (Jack). These are all the men in the Gill clan. (I know what you are thinking and yes there is a problem with glare;)

Patience

I hope to get more time for updates now that the holidays are over. I went to the doctor on Thursday for my post surgery update. I was looking forward to it because I was hoping for good news and am ready to get back to work and working out. She cleared me for work, but with restrictions. I am not to lift over 15 pounds, not to bend or stoop. As far as exercise, she continued, I can ride a bike but nothing aerobic. I asked her what that means and she said absolutely no jogging, running or weight lifting. I asked about the rower (cause I knew Ricky and Joe were planning on starting there) and after some thought she said no. It might tweak my back.

Here comes the decision that eats me alive. I know I desperately need to get back to Crossfit. I have started to back track. I have gained some weight back and I feel like crap. I obviously don't have the self discipline without someone either pushing me or watching me. I feel great and believe the doctor has a little CYA. I also know that there is the potential to make things worse. I know that I want to push myself. I was just getting to the place where I was feeling good about what I was doing.

It is a total emotion vs logic struggle, but this time I will go with logic. I want to see how far I can push myself, but I don't want to keep struggling to recover from back trouble. I will wait and will do it right. I will start with basics and get good fundamentals. This will be excruciating since there are so many amazing athletes at CFO but I will bide my time and do it right. I see the doctor on Feb 20th and hope that I will get a full release. In the meantime I will bite my tongue and see what happens.

FYI the video is of me bungee jumping at the state fair way back in '94. I only look a little younger ;) I apologize for the sound, but it is an old tape. I would love to do it again someday, but it will take a little patience.