Still Alive

I know, I know. People have been asking how I am doing and it is obvious that I haven't posted for a while. I have no excuse except for severe laziness. By extreme laziness I mean I haven't been doing S#!T. Before the surgery I didn't feel like doing much (it was a combination of my back/leg and laziness). Immediately after the surgery I felt great. The doctor told me not to be a hero and to take the pain medication as needed. The first two days I did (mainly because Mary keep telling me I needed to). I don't think I needed it though. I felt an instant difference from before. I am happy with the results.

The problem comes now in the doctor's instructions. Now that I feel great I can't do ANYTHING. I can't drive, I can't bend over, I can't lift anything over 5 pounds, I can't do any physical activities and I can't sit for more that 15 mins at a time. I also can't go to work due to the no long sitting. It has come as a good excuse to avoid any house work, but has created a great amount of boredom. I have three guardians (Mary and the kids) who are constantly watching and reminding me. I love them and know they are right, but sometimes...

Exactly one week after the surgery I helped (a little) to clean up the house. Not much, but I felt it that night. The doctor told me that most people feel so good that they end up getting hurt by over doing it. I understand what she means now. So I will follow instructions as best I can.

I did sneak over to Crossfit Omaha a couple of times and it was great to see everyone there. It is so nice to know there are people that are sincerely worried about you. I got to talk to Joe and Ricky and we talked a little about what it is going to be like when I get back I am looking so forward to get back to doing SOMETHING.

I wish I could say that I have been doing well on the diet and weight loss, but I have fallen off the wagon. I have put back on somewhere between 10 to 15 pounds. I also wish I could say it was exercise only, but I have been eating like crap. The holidays combined with a "I don't give a crap" attitude have hurt me and will haunt me when I get back. It isn't over yet, with Christmas this next week. I go back to the doctor on January 8th and I guarantee the next place I will go is Crossfit. Even if I can only walk around the gym for a workout I will be there.

BTW before the surgery we had our bi-annual family tailgate at the Nebraska vs. Colorado football game. As usual it was one of the highlights of the year (not to mention it was one of the best Husker finishes ever). I am so lucky to have in-laws which are so much fun. My father-in-law is closer to me than my father ever was and I love my brothers-in-law. For those of you that didn't come you missed it.

Rough Times

I know it has been a while since I posted, but it has been a rough time. I don't want to whine and want to keep this blog positive, but I better let people know where I am. Right before Halloween I was doing great. On Wednesday I was feeling a little sore (in my back) but no big deal. By Wednesday night it was starting to hurt so I decided to go to the chiropractor on Thursday (Halloween).
That afternoon we went to the kid's school for the Halloween parade. We had to walk 2 or 3 blocks away. The walk to the school was hurting me. The walk back almost brought me to tears. My leg started hurting from my butt to my foot, but it was the feeling that my foot was asleep that had me scared. I called the doctor right away and scheduled an appointment for the next day. Halloween night was a blast with the kids and my brother came with his two kids and Mary's friend brought her kid a lot of fun.
The next morning the doctor said I should get an MRI because the numbness made him nervous as well. He told me I could not do any "extreme weightlifting" (he meant no crossfit). That obvious to me because I knew I was in no shape for that. However, I started what I would consider a dark time for me. I don't know if I felt sorry for myself, but I started to lose hope. I questioned if I would be able to go back to Crossfit or if I could how long would it be.
The doctor gave me some pain meds and some anti-inflammatories, and muscle relaxers. That night I took enough to function and went to Crossfit Omaha's Halloween Party with Mary. We went as Hugh Heffner and one of the bunnies. The twist was that I was the bunny. I won't put any pictures up because it was truly disturbing. However, I did win first place for guy's costume. I had fun, but inside I was upset that I couldn't do crossfit for a while.
The MRI was the next week and showed that I have a "significant" herniated disc between L4 and L5 Vertebrae. That's what they told me. I talked to the Physical Therapist and he said that we would probably be doing plenty of PT and I might be getting epidural injections, but probably wouldn't need surgery. Just a lot of time. Neither of us had seen the MRI yet, but I was scheduled to see the Neurologist the next day.
At the Neurologist office I was shown pictures of my MRI by the doctor's PA. It was obvious how bad the herniated disc is. I also was shown I have two more bulging discs. I was told I could wait to see if it healed itself, but most likely would not. I could get the epidural to help with pain, but it would not help heal the nerves. My third option was surgery. If the other two options failed and I opted for surgery then time was against me. People that wait 3 to 6 months to do the surgery have a much greater possibility of permanent nerve damage. She suggested surgery.
To me this was a death sentence. I would be done with Crossfit altogether and would be doomed to a lifetime of back trouble. The blues I was already feeling almost made me cry. I had been on my dead ass for 15 years and now that I wanted to do something I was forced out by something beyond my control. When the Neurologist came in she told me pretty much what the PA had. She talked about the surgery like it was no big deal. I would be off work for 2-3 weeks minimum and could do the surgery as soon as next week. It would be outpatient and I would walk right out. She asked if I had any questions and of course in my mind I only had one, would I ever do Crossfit again. She said I would be back to normal activities the first week and back to "weightlifting" in two or three months. It was like a lead weight was lifted off of me. There was light again. However I know it will not be easy. I just have to do it.
I always question what people tell me so i looked it up on the Internet. I won't bore you with the surgery, but I did find this link:
http://www.spine-health.com/treatment/back-surgery/microdiscectomy-microdecompression-spine-surgery
I am hoping everything goes well and I plan to be back in the saddle soon. The surgery is scheduled for Dec 5. We will see what happens. I already feel like a slug and every fiber of me wants to go workout. I saw Ricky and some of the gang at Crossfit Omaha this morning and it was eating at me to be there. I never thought I would feel like this, but it isn't a bad thing. By the way the picture is of Mary and I at the Nebraska vs Baylor game. It was the first time just the two of us went to a game in 2 years. It was great.

Focus

This week became a failure. I had major setbacks in both my workouts and my diet. I ate like a pig and didn't work out. I don't know if it was the crappy weather, a bug, or just being lazy but I didn't do a thing but sleep for two days. I must not be the only one. I see on the Crossfit Omaha website Ricky has given us a couple of pep talks in the last 2 days (I can just picture Lou Holtz on one of his slober ridden rants LOL ). I realized that I had lost focus on my goals and need to make the necessary moves toward those goals. Not that long ago I made a list of goals and have not gone far in reaching them. I have no one to blame but myself. However I will not dwell on this. Today I started back on the road:

Shoulder Press 3-3-3-3-3-3-3 reps

3 x 65#

3 X 75#

3 X 89#

3 X 99#

3 X 111#

3 X 121#

3 x 133# (MAX)

1 x 138#

3 x 99 #

Cousins

It seems like the last few days have flown by. I haven't been able to keep up to be honest. I could write pages about the football game on Saturday but I won't. For those of you that don't know my Cornhuskers put the fight to #7 Texas Tech. They should have won, but lost in overtime. I was proud. They dealt with adversity and came back swinging. If they keep it up the rest of the season you will be seeing an upset or two. As far as a workout, we did a team workout and everything felt good.

Sunday was a rest day for Crossfit. After going to Matthew's football game we got to meet Jack Robert Gill (my brand new nephew). This was the first time that my kids remember really being around a baby. It was neat to see them playing together. Of course it made mama sad to realize just how big her kids are getting.

Monday was parent teacher conferences. Both kids are doing great. The crossfit workout involved Deadlifts and Thrusters. I didn't go. Parent teacher conferences wouldn't allow it, but I would be a liar if I said I would have gone otherwise. I just don't know if I am ready yet. I don't want to slip. Tuesday was a day to work on something you need to work on. I saw two people do their first muscle ups. It was exciting, and yet sort of a downer. I hope to get there someday, but I have to take baby steps first. I worked on some core exercises (it should help with my back). Just for the fun of it I tried a kipping pullup with no band. I am getting close. I think I can get there with a little more work and a little less weight.

Today was 30 Burpee Power Cleans (155#/100#) I scaled with 99lbs. I really fought myself not to add weight. I finished in 6:50? I didn't ask for time, but based on others that was it. I knew afterward I could have done more so I continued until the last person was finished. I got another 6. I was worried about the burpees on my back and Joe said I was on the verge of a snake, so I was careful. It was the the Cleans though that I felt. Not that they hurt, but I could feel them. I don't feel sore, but I might have if I added weight. Taking it slow is killing me.

You Are What You Eat.

I woke up sore today, but I can't stop smiling. My back doesn't hurt. Even after today's workout it is fine. It has been so long since this was the case that I forgot what it feels like. However it didn't make me want to come in today. Today's workout was intimidating for me. In fact I really had to convince myself to go.

For time:
100 Perfect pushups
Every time you have to come to your knees and/or rest you must complete 300 meters on the row machine, 200 meters running, or 100 double-unders.
During your pushups you may not pike your body up. You must keep a rigid spine, so no snaking the pushups. You must touch the ground with your chest and chin, all simultaneously. Your chest, hips, chin, etc. must also leave the ground simultaneously and you must completely lock out the pushups. Basically, you can only rest in the locked out position of a perfect pushup or on the ground, in which you would have to row, run, or double under.

I scaled it by using bands for band assisted pushups. I started with one tan and finished with one blue and one tan. I also chose to row. I knew there was no way I could do 10 double unders much less multiple rounds of 100. I also figured that if I had to run it would slow me down and as much as I hate it might cause me to quit. Looking back the running would have saved my arms a little bit. At any rate I DNF in the time cut off although Ricky and Joe did allow me to finish. I think I had 82 before time.

On my way home I got to thinking about my diet. I wish I had a fraction of all the money that is spent on books, tapes, cds, etc. about diet. If I wrote a book it would be something along the lines of the "Get Off Your Fat Ass and Put Down The Chocolate Shake Diet". I have come to understand that this is what it boils down to. But most people (either people that write these books or people that have always been fit) don't realize how hard this really can be. There are a million reasons why a person can't change their habits and just knowing that you should isn't going to help. Guilt wont help and telling people how great it is won't help.

I think there are two reasons that this time has worked so well for me and all other times have failed. The first is Crossfit. I could spend hours on the benefits of the Crossfit and all the things that are great about it (which I whole heartily believe) but the important thing is that it matches up with what I like. I enjoy the team atmosphere. I enjoy the social aspect. I enjoy the coaches and the valuable information that they have. I have fun at Crossfit. I am in no way saying that it is easy. In fact it is still hard every time I go, but I HAVE FUN. Any exercise program I have done in the past got old really fast. Hell, watch the Biggest Loser and tell me that those workouts look fun. And the idea behind these workouts is that you should do as much as possible. This is a road to failure. Tell a person who is unmotivated that not only should they do something that isn't fun, but tell them to do a lot of it. Crossfit is fun for me. It may not be for you (give it a try you might be surprised) but if it is not then find something that is for you. Not something that you endure but something that you really enjoy.

More importantly is diet. I have heard (I think it might have been Dr. Sears) that 80% of weight loss is diet and 20% is exercise. I don't think people realize this and spend most of their time trying to work on exercise. The problem with starting ANY diet is that you have to give up some of your freedom. As I see it the true problem is that people believe you have to give up all freedom. Most diets fail when people can't stay with the diet. They cheat and then give up. It becomes a chore to get back on the diet (which they didn't truly like in the first place). I have been there many times. This time my answer is to cheat without guilt. When I cheat I know how many calories I can have and I know when I can treat myself. I don't do it every day, but I try not to go too long. It doesn't give me a blank check either. I do it in moderation. Does this slow down my progress? Probably. Is it the most efficient way to lose weight? Probably not. But that is not the important question for me. The important question is ,"Is this something I can live with or is it a diet that I have to endure?". My answer is that I can live with it. It works for me. I don't dread it. Do I have cravings that I fight? Yes and No. I get cravings all the time. Who doesn't. I will not say that I refuse all cravings. That would make me a liar. But thanks to my Body Bug I have to answer for what I put in my body. And when I do eat I have an idea of what I eating.

Here is the key. With this new tool (my Body Bug) I am forced to see what I am eating. I am forced to look at labels. I have to know how much worse a slice of pizza is from my favorite place is than a piece of chicken and I have to be accountable. I know that many Crossfiters will state that The Zone would make it so I didn't have to do it. The trade off is that you have to measure everything and are limited to what I can eat. I will admit that it would be perfect for getting the most out of my Crossfit experience. I know that there will be a time when I switch to the Zone. This will be a time when I see diminishing returns with my current trends. But at this time I am seeing weight loss, improved fitness and it is something that I can live with. And for me the last thing is the most important.

Feels Good To Be Back

Weight 273.4 Body Fat%29.1

I made it back into Crossfit today. I went to physical therapy this morning and felt good. So after talking it over with the therapist I decided it was a go. I also talked to Ricky and Joe for a little while before hand and told them everything I knew as far as my back. We are going to watch it and try to work around it for a while. It was fun to be back with the noon crossfiters. The workout for the day was:

Complete 5 rounds of:
5 Hang Squat Cleans (50/35 pound db's)
5 Pull-ups
Then run up the road to 90th street and back
then complete 5 more rounds of:
5 Hang Squat Cleans
5 Pull-ups

I scaled. I only used 20lb dbs and bands a blue and a tan pullup for the pullups. Halfway through I had to add another tan. I felt intimidated when I came in. All week I felt like I was losing everything I had so far. I felt like a slug. I knew the first workout back would be rough and it was. The running was the worst. I never like running (again because it has always been a weakness) but today felt like it would never end. It wasn't even really that far.

I finished last out of the noon group (again not that out of the norm) but I didn't feel like it was everything I had. I struggled the whole workout because of my last week, but also because mentally I was trying to avoid over doing it. I probably could have done a little more weight or a little bit faster, but I just wanted to keep from hurting myself. I felt bad, yet at the same time I felt great because there was not back pain. In fact I didn't hurt at all. I usually feel beat up afterwards, but I felt good (out of breath but good). The only thing that hurts is a crick in my neck from organizing my garage the last two days.

I learned something important about myself this last week. I am undisciplined. No big surprise, but I had it hit home. If I don't go to crossfit I probably will not work out. I just won't motivate myself. The exercises I did for PT I only motivated myself to do because I knew that if I didn't I would be able to do crossfit. If I don't wear my bodybug I won't keep track of what I eat. Anybody could take a journal and write it down, but I didn't because I am unmotivated. Yet, I find that with the bodybug on I keep track because I want to see what the numbers look like at the end of the day. I want to see how I matched up. So far bodybug and crossfit are showing a big difference in my motivation. By the way check out the motivation on number 3. That's my boy.

A Little Taste of Nostalgia

Last night I got to do something that I hadn't done in 14 years. I went to the Husker game by myself. I have been to plenty of Husker games since, but not alone. It was a wonderful experience. Mary and the kids went to North Platte for the weekend so I decided I would sneak in a game. I looked on the Athletic Department website and they still had a few tickets left. I put on a jersey I bought a couple of years ago. It was TIGHT when I bought it, but now it is just a little too big.

My whole experience took me back to Freshman year in college. I parked about a mile and a half away (this was on purpose knowing that the extra walk would do me some good, not to mention save a little money). I walked to the stadium alone (just like I did Freshman year). I took in all the sights, sounds and smells of all the tailgaters parked along the way to the stadium. It happened to be homecoming week so I got to see a few lawn displays as well. They only disappointment in the walk was when I got to where our fraternity was. The house has been torn down for quite a while and is now a green space. I laughed when I saw that they still can't get grass to grow along the sidewalk where we had bare spots too.

One thing that has changed was the student section. They were lined up outside the stadium waiting for their turn to get in. We had assigned seating, but now it is first come first serve. They were packed at the gate 3 hours before the game. But in their drunken stupors they were pumped up for the game with the calls of "GOOOOO.....BIGGGGG....REE...HEAD, GO BIG RED." (True Huskers know what I mean). Some things don't change.

I then walked over to Haymarket Park to see where I would be tailgating for the Colorado game (by the way if you are going to go to the game let me know and I will tell you where we will be tailgating). It was probably another mile and a half to the other side. I did this knowing that all the walking would do me good. This is one thing that I would not have done in college. Maybe if I had I wouldn't be trying to lose all the weight now. I am already healthier than I was when I graduated from college, but have a way to go to get back to pre-freshman weight. Every time I notice things like this I realized I have Crossfit to thank.

This was the first game that I have ever been to where I was conscious about health. I didn't have a Tom Boy hot dog. I can't believe it, but I went to a game without the dog. I did have a lemonade, but that was better than the 3 or so Pepsi's I would normally have. Overall a good weekend.

The game was an all out ass kicking just like Freshman year. Final score 52-17. The MAJOR difference is that Nebraska was on the receiving end of the whipping. My Freshman year was 1994 and the beginning of three out of four national championship years. I got lucky to go to those games as a student. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

There were a lot of sore losers in the stands, but no one knows how to handle this. There hasn't been a Nebraska ass whooping like that in Memorial Stadium in nearly 50 years. People are begging to realized this will be a slow process. I did my share of yelling at the refs on this one, but I will always stand behind my school. Like I told Mary, "I didn't put the N on my arm cause I thought it was going to be a good year at Nebraska. I am a Husker till the day I die". It may seem hokey to some of you but I believe the words of the Nebraska fight song..."Where they're all true blue. We all stick together through all kinds of weather for dear old Nebraska U." This will be a year in which you will separate the true Huskers from those that like to ride the winners bandwagon.